somewhere between here and there, part 2

A Moment with my (ex) Housemate, theGreek

On G talk:
G: blah blah i can't believe how unfair it is...
T-Lo: Wanna come chat about it? If you want to chat, I am always here...
G: Where you?
T-Lo: [gives address]
G: K, see you in 30 mins
[screetching tires, stomp stomp stomp to the door, bang bang,"T- you there?!"]
T-Lo: How are you?
G: blah blah bitch gulp blah!
T-Lo: Gulp gulp .. I understand! And I don't miss it!!
G: [impersonates a worker ant]
T-Lo: It was good. But I'm happy where I am. [looks at bag on floor, bed on couch]
G: [understands]
T-Lo: Gulp gulp.
G: Gulp gulp.

Yeah babes, that's what I'm talking about!!

19 sleeps

A moment with my housemate, theGreek

TheGreek came running into my room last night, waking me from my near-coma-like slumber (granted, it was only, like, 930, but anyway...)

TheGreek: T! T! T! Wake up! Wake the Fk up!
T-Lo: arghmmmphhphargh
TheGreek: arghmmmphhphargh!! Hahahah!! WAKE UP.
T-Lo: What's going on?
TheGreek: I've just come from gym.
T-Lo: [shocked into silence]
TheGreek: Can you help me put this on?
(holds up red bracelet thing that must be tied around his wrist)
T-Lo: Ok.
(tries to tie red thing-y around wrist)
TheGreek: You must say affirmations and give me positive energy.
T-Lo: [sniggers] [snorts]
TheGreek: Seriously, say things like: Love and Strength and Power and put positive energy into tying the knots...
T-Lo: [sniggers] [snorts]
TheGreek: [leaning forward and looking me right in the eye] You have made me shake hands with a bag of dirt. Now, do the affirmations and tie seven knots on my bracelet.
T-Lo: [owned] [silenced]

In other news, theGreek's gone through everything I own and claimed dibs on everything he wants. He's making off with my bed, my pots, my wine glasses, my colander, my inflatable roofracks, my towel sets, my masks, some of my books, my filing boxes, my flower vase and my blenders. Not bad!

In work news, this Congo thing is sitting with me. It's a one year assignment. And they want an answer by tomorrow.

36 sleeps

I'm having another middle distance glaze day. Make that middle distance glaze week.

TheGreek and I went for 'Easter dinner' last weekend (we washed down vast quantities of prawns with nice wine) and ended up having a fat chat about life, love and rock'n'roll. He watched a documentary on youtube about Mayan calendars and 2012, which freaked him out a bit, which led to discussions about the imbalances in the world, which lead to discussions about positive and negative energy, which led to discussions about karma, which led to discussions about high, low and good (good! good!) vibrations, which led to discussions about cause and effect.

Now, I fully believe in the cause/effect theory. For example, if I buy one of these every day, I create this. Not cool. No wonder Mother Nature's pissed off. But how far does it go? Specifically, if I play this or this or this or this, obviously I'm thinking about how to kill someone, or achieve world domination, or wage effective warfare, or steal people's cars. And those are things I would consider Not Nice to think about. But, as I think these things, I'm putting that energy out there, right? And it must go somewhere, right? Where does it go? What happens to it? And, if my cause and effect theory is correct, then I have to wonder what effect it is having on me, on other people, on the world in general. Or, to balance it out (one of theGreeks theories) I must do something that would be considered nice, like pet kittens or similar. I'll just have to stretch out my arms, raise my eyes to the sky and ask Superman what is going on because this has got my brain in a twist. Hmmmm.... [slack jawed middle distance glaze look in full effect]

63 sleeps

Slow night at the office, love? Oh, that made me laugh. Every time I look at it I giggle. Thanks to the DomTastic for forwarding it to me.

It's a beautiful, breathless, sunny stunning Sunday in Cape Town. I'm at work. Barely. I trained yesterday morning on Camps Bay beach with Miss K. What an awesome work out! My calves were ceasing about 20 minutes into training. We are going to do that more often. That, and run up Lion's Head with gas masks on.

TheGreek is finally back from Stellies. Yay! The return of the double deal pizza night! All is good in my world again :) I'm trying to think of something profound, intellectual, humorous to say but nothing is coming to mind. I think my brain is on vacation today. I'll be back tomorrow, with witty stories and fabulous photos.

Happy Sunday!

31 sleeps + 60

TheGreek is out of town for two weeks in Stellenbosch, attending a security management course and terrorizing innocent first year university girls. Boo! Hiss! Ahz miss mah Greek housemate. Two weeks! Who am I going to order my mid-week double deal pizza with? Who am I going to argue superpowers with? Or dream symbol interpretation? Or lang-aarm (uh... Afrikaans barn dancing, roughly) to AC DC at 2 am in the lounge?

In his honour, I give you a moment with my housemate, theGreek.

[A hot Saturday, mid-day]

T-Lo: I'm going to Woolies to grab some food. Do you want some?
theGreek: I don't know. What kind of food does Woolies have?
T-Lo: [after a moment's stunned hesitation] Um. I'm getting some fruit.
theGreek: What kind of fruit are you getting?
T-Lo: Melon.
theGreek: What kind of melon?
T-Lo: Watermelon.
theGreek: Like, a whole watermelon or some cut up watermelon?
T-Lo: Cut up.
theGreek: Cut up how?
T-Lo: Well, there is some choice. You can get a small tub of cubed watermelon. Or you can get a large tub of watermelon wedges. Or you can get the melon trio, which is a large tub of watermelon, wintermelon and sweet melon wedges. Or you can get a watermelon and mango fruit salad. Or you can get a small tub of mixed fruit salad that contains watermelon.
theGreek: What was the first choice again?
T-Lo: Small. Cubes.
theGreek: I'll take that. What else are you getting?
T-Lo: Probably a burger.
theGreek: Like a pre-packaged ready to eat burger?
T-Lo: Yes.
theGreek: What kind of burgers do they have?
T-Lo: I'm getting one with mushroom and cheese.
theGreek: Oh, that sounds nice. I'll have that.

Off I trawled to Woolies, sweating in the heat of the mid-day sun. I got back. I gave him his burger and his watermelon cubes. I opened my burger and my watermelon wedges. He eyeballed my watermelon wedges and asked: "Did you give me that option?"

I almost fell off my chair.

32 sleeps + 60

It's a lazy hazy Cape Argus Sunday. The Cape Argus is this mad bicycle race around the peninsula. There are tens of thousands of cyclists on the road, so I'm doing the sensible thing and laying low until its all over. The DomTastic was out watching the cyclists this morning and saw Matt Damon. She screamed her head off and he either smiled or grimaced at her, which made her day. TheGreek is sprawled on the couch beside me, moaning, groaning, napping, shaking. As he does. I'm off to the shops to pick up a battery charger for my CyberShot. I've lost the charger (I always lose the important things, like the charger for my i-pod) so must get a replacement. I want to start taking photos of my last days in Cape Town. If I don't force myself to start now, I never will.

Have a happy Sunday, wherever you are! :)

33 sleeps + 60

It's so hot today... i think Cape Town saw the 40 degree mark earlier this afternoon. TheGreek and I hit Camps Bay beach for a couple of hours just to stop our brains from melting in town. I am going to miss the beach lifestyle so much when I go. The Hammer does have it's own 'waterfront' effect, but for me an ocean is an ocean and Lake Ontario, though beautiful in its own right, is not an ocean. There is no feeling like sand between your feet, or the feel of the warm sun on your body as you read on the beach, or the ice cream headache you get from dipping a toe in the icy Atlantic water. But, as much as I like the beach, it's not enough to keep me here. I've been having an intense G-chat with the DomTastic about life, love, pursuing your dreams and the ever important HOW to pursue your dreams. I must take my own advice... suck it up and push through. I know the decision to go back is the right one, and as time passes and events unfold, it seems the universe is pushing me there, wants me there, anyway. I'm just finding it difficult to leave the life I have here. Again, I shall take my own advice - after I'm gone for 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, I will look back and know that I did the right thing.

55 sleeps

There's a great new dvd shop in town called dvd noveau. It has the most amazing documentary section... a nice wide selection of current affairs topics. Well, I've been going through a mad documentary phase. Sometimes I watch alone, sometimes I watch with theGreek and we debate the issues raised in the doccie afterwards. The only problem is... my list of can'ts is growing with every movie I watch. For example: I watched this one and now I can't eat any type of pre-packaged frozen fish. Then I watched this one and I can't drink any coffee but organically certified fair trade coffee. I also watched this one with theGreek, which was so intense that the imagery still sits with me. There was one scene of Death Squads opening fire on funeral goers in Argentina that horrified me to the core. I didn't understand what was happening at the beginning of the scene. It looked like the funeral goers, who were walking up the church steps en masse, were doing a sort of break dance in time with each other while moving to the side of the steps. Then I realised that their bodies were convulsing from being peppered with bullets. The world we live in....

but I digress. In good news, I've been accepted on the UNV roster. Yay! Good news! My Canadian muay thai and humanitarian partner in crime, Miss K, has also been accepted. Now we just have to be posted on the same mission so that we can continue to train properly.

In bad news, I missed Cum Laude on my coursework for my LLM by 0.25%. Let me repeat that - I missed it by ONE QUARTER OF ONE PERCENT. I am so mad at myself. ONE QUARTER OF ONE PERCENT. I know I will do well on my thesis, I always do well on my written work, but I don't know if this ONE QUARTER OF ONE PERCENT will prevent me from graduating Cum Laude overall. I guess I actually have to open the LLM Rule book and read the bloody thing.

73 sleeps

I have seriously neglected the blog this month. I see we are at month's end and this is only my fifth blog. I'll be better in February, I promise!

I suppose it's a good sign for the Company that I haven't had a chance to blog much... they've got a lot of new stuff on the go, which means that I have a lot of stuff to review. Good for them.

Otherwise, hmmm... what's news?

Ok, here we go...

The top five moments of January 2009!

5. Arguing with a tarot card reader over the correct definitional interpretation of the word "home". And winning.

4. Intense debates with theGreek and Domtastic over which superpower would be best to have, not including the obvious answer "all".

3. Moving to the new DP. It was sad to leave the old place, but onward and upward! I love muay thai so much, I'd probably enjoy training in an underground parking lot though :)

2. Finding 5 books in my collection that I could pass on to worthy readers.

1. The Queen's Hen Party on Saturday night. I always love an excuse to wear feather boas and glitter and dance until obscene hours of the morning with a great bunch of friends.

And... WTF? 73 sleeps? I've realised, since making The Decision and starting this blog, how quickly time flies.

I first started noticing it with my nephews. One minute I'm like: Oh wow! My sis-in-law is pregnant! That's kinda cool for her. The next it's like: My nephew is fluent in french and starting kindergarten?! Wasn't he still in the womb just yesterday? And now there's another one too? Sheesh, I'm still - still - living my life like a 22 year old college student (I AM still studying, in my defense) and one of my brothers goes and gets kids and stuff. Bloody hell.

But now, counting down sleeps is effin hectic. I'm going to blink and it'll be four sleeps and I'll be apoplectic about leaving and confused and sweating and wild eyed and thinking. I think a lot. Sometimes I think myself awake, which is a total pain in the *ss, cuz if you wake up thinking, there is no way you are falling back asleep anytime soon.

84 sleeps

A moment with my housemate, theGreek

[Friday; 2pm; I am reviewing Agreements in one of the offices; theGreek comes in and sits down]

TheGreek: If your friend won the lottery and gave you USD 100 000, what kind of account would you put it in?
T-Lo: Did this actually happen?
TheGreek: No. But what if - what would you do? Would you open an account in London?
T-Lo: Mmmm... probably not. The tax rate is too high there.
TheGreek: They would tax me on it?
T-Lo: Of course. In fact, if you accept it in SA, you would have to pay a 'gift tax' on it.
TheGreek: Really?
T-Lo: Yes - and it's something ridiculous like 50%.
TheGreek: [swears repeatedly] So not London and not SA. Then where?
T-Lo: Somewhere like Mauritius. It's a tax haven and there's a double taxation agreement between SA and Mauritius.
TheGreek: Cool. Do you think I would have to go to Mauritius to open the account?
T-Lo: Probably not. I'm sure Standard Bank has on 'off shore' branch there. You could go to any Standard branch and get it opened I presume.
[aside: I, personally, would go to Mauritius and open that account. I've got a pretend USD 100 000 at my disposal, so why not splurge? And, whilst there, dive for a week and eat seafood until I fall over. But that's just me.]
TheGreek: Cool. So, once you get the money into the account, how do you get it out again?
T-Lo: What do you mean?
TheGreek: Well, I'll obviously want to spend the money. So how do I get it out?
T-Lo: Are you asking me how to get your pretend USD 100 000 out of your fictional off shore bank account?
TheGreek: Yes.
T-Lo: Well, it's a bank account. Surely they would offer you a bank card with your bank account. Or you could set up an automatic direct debit from your offshore account to your RSA account on a monthly basis for additional income.
TheGreek: Will they tax me on it?
T-Lo: Of course! It's income!
TheGreek: [swears repeatedly]
T-Lo: You'll be taxed at the appropriate tax bracket rate relative to your total income.
TheGreek: That's not so bad. Thanks!

And he was off.

Personally, I wouldn't withdraw any of my pretend USD 100 000 from my fictional offshore
account. Why not put it in a fictitious aggressive investment portfolio? That way, the pretend USD 100 000 stands a good chance of growing exponentially over the next few years and, when it is finally at a sizeable chunk, you can then set up a fake trust and withdraw small amounts from the not-real total in order to provide additional income to your salary stream. But that's just me.

119 sleeps

Moments with my housemate, theGreek

On the flu

theGreek: Oh, I slept after work and I'm sooo tired.
T-Lo: Could be from the Mumbai thing, or could be cuz you are getting flu.
theGreek: There's a flu going around?!
T-Lo: Yes, throat / tummy / fever thing.
theGreek: Well then I can't go to the Xmas party!
T-Lo: Why not?
theGreek: Cuz I have a fever.
T-Lo: You have a fever?
theGreek: Yes, you just said I have a fever.
T-Lo: I said that there is a flu with a fever going around. Do you have it?
theGreek: I feel flushed.
T-Lo: Put on your shoes, we're going to the Xmas party.

On the fridge

theGreek [calling from his bedroom]: Hey T! There's some superglue in the fridge if you want some!

On my morning runs

[not so much a conversation with words, this]



I came back from my morning run a couple of months ago. It was still winter so the sun was just starting torise.There are four locks that must be unlocked to get into the flat. As I managed to unlock them and open the wooden door, I heard a loud pitter-patter of running footsteps mixed with a battle cry along the lines of "whooooooooooohhhhhaaaaaa"

and all I saw was a 6 iron at eye level.

My first thought was "roundhouse kick to temple" but, knowing my housemate, I instead shouted "What the fuck??!!" theGreek, hair a-skew and eyes a-glaze, realized it was me and me ready to strike, turned on his heel and hightailed it back to his room, golf club in hand. He thought I was trying to burgle the place. I'm sure there was more than one neighbour wondering what in morning hysteria was going on.

On me missing phone calls

I had about 8 missed calls in a 10 minute period a week ago. I called theGreek back to find out wtf was going on.

T-Lo: Hey.
theGreek: OH! My! God! I was about to call the police! Where have you beeeen?
T-Lo: I was away from the phone. What's up?
theGreek: Have you seen my Santa hat?