84 sleeps

A moment with my housemate, theGreek

[Friday; 2pm; I am reviewing Agreements in one of the offices; theGreek comes in and sits down]

TheGreek: If your friend won the lottery and gave you USD 100 000, what kind of account would you put it in?
T-Lo: Did this actually happen?
TheGreek: No. But what if - what would you do? Would you open an account in London?
T-Lo: Mmmm... probably not. The tax rate is too high there.
TheGreek: They would tax me on it?
T-Lo: Of course. In fact, if you accept it in SA, you would have to pay a 'gift tax' on it.
TheGreek: Really?
T-Lo: Yes - and it's something ridiculous like 50%.
TheGreek: [swears repeatedly] So not London and not SA. Then where?
T-Lo: Somewhere like Mauritius. It's a tax haven and there's a double taxation agreement between SA and Mauritius.
TheGreek: Cool. Do you think I would have to go to Mauritius to open the account?
T-Lo: Probably not. I'm sure Standard Bank has on 'off shore' branch there. You could go to any Standard branch and get it opened I presume.
[aside: I, personally, would go to Mauritius and open that account. I've got a pretend USD 100 000 at my disposal, so why not splurge? And, whilst there, dive for a week and eat seafood until I fall over. But that's just me.]
TheGreek: Cool. So, once you get the money into the account, how do you get it out again?
T-Lo: What do you mean?
TheGreek: Well, I'll obviously want to spend the money. So how do I get it out?
T-Lo: Are you asking me how to get your pretend USD 100 000 out of your fictional off shore bank account?
TheGreek: Yes.
T-Lo: Well, it's a bank account. Surely they would offer you a bank card with your bank account. Or you could set up an automatic direct debit from your offshore account to your RSA account on a monthly basis for additional income.
TheGreek: Will they tax me on it?
T-Lo: Of course! It's income!
TheGreek: [swears repeatedly]
T-Lo: You'll be taxed at the appropriate tax bracket rate relative to your total income.
TheGreek: That's not so bad. Thanks!

And he was off.

Personally, I wouldn't withdraw any of my pretend USD 100 000 from my fictional offshore
account. Why not put it in a fictitious aggressive investment portfolio? That way, the pretend USD 100 000 stands a good chance of growing exponentially over the next few years and, when it is finally at a sizeable chunk, you can then set up a fake trust and withdraw small amounts from the not-real total in order to provide additional income to your salary stream. But that's just me.