72 sleeps

I tried to call my youngest brother last night. I have a calling card number for Canadian calls, so I call the toll free number, follow the prompts, enter the numbers and BAM! I'm connected.

Not so last night. I called the toll free number, followed the prompts, entered the numbers and then BAM! I hung (hanged?) in cyberspace for minutes on end. I finally got in touch with a real live operator who, in turn, put me back in the auto-prompt system to let me tele-hang in cyberspace all over again. I gave up at 2 am.

I miss my youngest brother. That's the one who's lazy *ss I threw on a bus to Zimbabwe.... I jest...I jest...

Seriously, he was with me in RSA, staying with J and I, doing a weekend river trip here and there and spending the rest of time in front of the tv and living like (as my mother would say) he was the King of Riley.

The problem was that, aside from the occasional weekend river trip, he was living his life as he would in Canada. And that's not why we are in RSA. So, I told him that he should go hang in Zimbabwe for a while. Live a little, you know? Kayak the Zambezi, paddle the Okavango, ride an elephant, take in the Namib, hitchhike the Caprivi strip. That kind of thing. So we set a date - we gave Big E two weeks to sort himself out (pack, deal with mind numbing tooth ache, convince dentist to let him take his Xrays, sort out bus [ha!] ticket, etc).

Two weeks hence, I had Big E, his bag, his kayak, his paddle, his guiding gear and his first aid kit at the Cape Town Bus Station. His InterCape awaited. He got on. I waved. He looked at me.

And that's when I saw it - that look. I am absolutely positive I had that look when I hitchhiked the first time, or shot a rapid for the first time, or got lost in rural Japan by myself, or had my stuff stolen, or packed the Bullet on that day.... I actually have a few I can choose from, but I digress.

It's the look of abject fear. It's when you realize all your planning, all your talk, all your dreams, all your hopes and all your fears are sitting with you, like a monkey on your shoulders, as you travel into a seriously foreign situation all by yourself. And there is no backing down and no way but forward.

Well, off Big E went - to Zim via Namibia on a bus. I put him in charge of one thing to do by himself without me supervising - make sure you have cash for when you get there. Not hard, right? I did ask him before he got on the bus. He - snarkily - informed me that the backpackers had informed him that there was an ATM machine there.

Ok.

I didn't hear from him for four days. Then six. Then eight. Finally I caved and started tracking him down. I starting calling backpackers in Livingstone. Finally, I got hold of one, who laughed when I asked and said "Oh, Big E?!! He's at Jolly Boys."

A backpacker named Jolly Boys? How dodge.

I finally got in touch with Big E, who informed me of the following:

1. There were no ATMs that took his Canadian Bank of Montreal debit card on the way to Zimbabwe.
2. He had neither food nor water.
3. There is a USD 25 visa fee to enter Zimbabwe.
4. The bus patrons had a mini fundraiser to raise the funds so that Big E could obtain his visa.
5. A kind older woman provided him with both food and water.
6. The ATM machine in Livingstone only accepted foreign credit card cash advances.
7. He had no money to pay for the backpacker where he had booked himself.
8. They sent him to Jolly Boys, a camping backpackers down the road.
9. Jolly Boys was letting him stay on the campsite and eat one portuguese roll in the morning and a hot meal at night in exchange for him doing the maid duties.
10. He was fine, he didn't need my help, he didn't need any money, and I could f*ck right off.

You see?! ADVENTURE. That's what it's about! What an awesome story to tell.. He stayed there for six months doing the catch-the-pig thing and finally hitched down (good boy!) through the Kalahari to the Felix base camp on the Orange. Unfortunately he picked up malaria along the way but when he recovered he ended up guiding for another eight months. ADVENTURE.

(PS - for the record, and to prove I am not an absolute devil, I had my dad wire him some money to tide him over for a couple of weeks.)